The Independent Woman is Unbiblical

I have never wanted to be an independent woman. 

It was pride and a desire for independence which caused Satan's downfall. The truth is, God made men and women to be dependent on one another and on Him. We were not created to be an island. Remember Adam in the garden? God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." And thus, the first family was formed.

This may be an unpopular opinion today, but I truly believe unmarried women should live at home with their parents until marriage. This does not mean a woman cannot seek outside employment or continue her education if that is indeed her desire, but if she is wise, she will not move out. 

Apart from the physical and spiritual protection afforded her through this arrangement, by remaining at home, she will be able to save an untold amount of money, thus freeing her to enter marriage without any debt. 

But to remain at home requires a certain level of maturity and self-sacrifice. A woman sharing a home with her parents is no longer a child. She cannot expect to be waited on and must strive to do her part, becoming a sort of co-homemaker alongside her mother.

In my own situation as an adult daughter at home, I prepare many of the family meals and work at maintaining the areas my children and I occupy neat and tidy.

I have never been independent by the world's standards, nor have I ever had the desire or the inclination to live on my own. The notion that a woman needs to move out of the family home as soon as she reaches adulthood is a modern invention made all the more popular through the pervasive rise of feminist ideology. Biblical patriarchy certainly lends no support to this dangerous idea

As for me, I have always thrived under the leadership and loving protection of a strong male guardian. It is a blessing I know not every woman is able to have, thus I never wish to take it for granted.

Purity: True Love Waits

“You will not lift the veil of my body until you lift the veil over my face.” -Jason Evert 

It was my 15th birthday, a time when, according to my culture, a girl transitions into a young woman. I was given the most precious gift - a purity ring. 

To be honest, I don’t remember exactly what my parents said when they presented me with my ring. But I remember feeling the significance of the moment as I took the ring out of its box and fit it onto my finger. The words “True Love Waits” were engraved onto its surface. I clung to this truth, knowing that God would bless my obedience. I did not take that ring off until my wedding day four years later, when I presented myself as a virgin in every way before my husband.

I have never regretted doing things God’s way. The Lord created sex to be enjoyed *only* within the safe confines of a committed marriage. His Word is clear. Purity protects. The world wants to convince young people that “safe” sex involves seeking consent and using contraceptives, but according to the Bible, abstinence before marriage is the only way. Problems abound when God’s ways are ignored. Like a loving Father, He provides boundaries for our own good. And obedience to His Word always brings blessings 😊

Because I know we live in a fallen world, I want to remind you of another beautiful truth: if you have made mistakes in this area, there is grace, forgiveness, mercy and healing with our Heavenly Father 💛 He makes all things new!

The Ideal Woman

What draws a man to a woman?

Quite a few things, actually.

According to author Helen B. Andelin, the ideal woman, from a man’s point of view, exhibits these eight main qualities:

• She understands men and their needs

• She shows deep, inner joy

• She has a worthy character

• She excels in the domestic arts

• She exudes femininity

• She radiates happiness

• She possesses fresh, glowing health

• She has a certain childlikeness about her

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When a woman makes the attainment of such qualities her goal, she begins to unlock the power of her femininity. And blessed is the woman who makes good use of this God-given treasure!

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A man cannot help but feel at peace in her presence. She captivates him with her sweet spirit. Her tender heart moves him to want to protect and shelter her. In contrast to his strong masculinity, her soft femininity enchants him.

The Scriptures praise such a woman, noting her worth as being higher even than rubies. She is selfless and kind - a crown to her husband and a light to those around her.

This woman has understood the key to her own success as man’s counterpart. And yet few there be that find it. For truth, as you may know, only falls upon the humble and seeking.

Let she who understands, never lose hope. A woman of virtue will always shine brightly to a man of good character.

Avoiding Mr. Willoughby

Why do good women settle for the Willoughbys of this world?⠀

I believe it is due to a number of reasons. There’s fear, for one. Then there’s inexperience coupled with a low sense of worth. There might be a lack of patience too. And if we’re honest? There’s almost always a lack of proper discernment.

Combine all of these factors with the absence of wise parental counsel and you have yourself a recipe for disaster (just look at our poor, dear Marianne).

Ladies, your high standards are not a thing of shame. In fact, they are your protection.

And the waiting is actually a gift. Yes - a gift. “For everything there is a season.” (Eccl. 3:1)

It is a good thing to desire marriage. It is natural to want to be loved, treasured, led, and protected by a truly God-fearing, masculine man. Our hearts were made for this. But often times, the Lord’s answer is to wait. Perhaps He wishes to refine us still. After all, in order to attract a godly man, one must possess virtue and Christ-like character.

Yet, no matter how long the wait, we must not lose hope.

The Colonel Brandons of this world do exist. But it takes wisdom to avoid settling for a Mr. Willoughby instead.

In Godly Obedience Lies Freedom

Why are homemakers looked down upon?

Why is the devoted, submissive wife held in such disdain?

Why are large families often the brunt of jokes and ridicule?

Why is true, biblical masculinity (and femininity) so viciously attacked?

Because every one of these things pose a threat to the Enemy.

Every one of these things is a sign of contradiction.

And the darkness cannot stand our obedience to the Word of God.

Why? Because we who read and apply God’s Word can never be enslaved.

Only in godly obedience lies freedom.

Remember this beautiful paradox as you go about your day. Remember this biblical truth as you embrace your God-given, God-ordained roles, dear brothers and sisters in Messiah. Remember this when you are hated and reviled for His name’s sake.

We pledge allegiance to a Heavenly King, and it is only His approval we seek.

A Truly Spiritual Man

“I can see you marrying a missionary one day,” my dad remarked on our way back from church a few weeks ago.

Nodding, I smiled and added, “Or a pastor!”

I’m not sure where my statement came from, since I truly have never thought about marriage to a pastor before. But it certainly got me thinking 🤔

The truth is, I would be happy to marry any man, no matter what his vocation, provided he had a true and intimate relationship with the Lord.

Unfortunately, many women judge the spiritual level of men by unrealistic standards. They think that just because a man doesn’t read the Bible or pray as often as many Christian women do, then he must be on a lower spiritual level.

But one thing the weaker sex fails to acknowledge is the fact that men (in general) tend to be far less emotional and sensitive than their counterpart.

This is why men usually do not attend spiritual retreats in droves or become involved with countless church ministries and Bible studies.

And this difference between the sexes is not a bad thing. It is actually quite normal, and has to do with how we’re wired. Yet sadly, it is often a point of marital contention and frustration for many couples.

As women, we must understand the incredible responsibility men have in providing for their household. Good men who take this mandate seriously, simply do not have time for the kind of religious pursuits women at home enjoy.

Allow me to state an unpopular truth: if your husband (or husband to be) is faithful (to God & family), hard working, generous and kind, then he is a spiritual man.

Because more than anything else, his example and character will determine the course of your family - whether for good or for evil.

So yes, while I wouldn’t mind being the wife of a pastor or a missionary, my ultimate desire is to marry a man who understands his role and responsibility before God.

That is the kind of spiritual leader I’d be happy to serve under.

God's Perfect Design

Man, the image bearer.

Woman, his crown and glory.

He, the leader, provider, protector.

Warrior, fighter, builder, inventor.

⠀She, the bearer of children, his helpmeet, and source of delight.

⠀Nurturer, beautifier, homemaker, lover.

⠀Under his guidance, she flourishes.

⠀Within her heart, he finds rest.

⠀One without the other, incomplete.

⠀United in holiness, created for love.

⠀Fulfilled in their purpose, God’s glory revealed.

A miracle, the two become one.

She Must Accept Him

A woman should never marry a man with the intent to change him.⠀

What lies behind this all too common feminine temptation if not for the sin of self-righteousness?

When a woman desires to change a man, she is essentially communicating an attitude of superiority towards him. “If only he was as neat/spiritual/smart/healthy/thoughtful as I am!”

Her demands, criticisms, not-so-subtle hints, comparisons, and constant nagging accomplish nothing. Instead of eliciting a change within his heart, these tactics almost always have the opposite effect, for men place great value on their freedom.

More than anything else, a man wishes to be accepted for who he is. Instead of focusing on any faults he may have, a woman can accept her man by always seeking to look towards his better side.

In respecting his convictions, preferences, hobbies, dreams, abilities and way of doing things, she communicates both honor and respect. He knows she is satisfied with who he is, and this knowledge leads to a closer intimacy with her.

Learning how to be an excellent wife requires a tremendous amount of humility. Without this foundational trait, change will be difficult, if not impossible. A woman striving for virtue must always possess a teachable heart. Only then can she ever hope to be her husband’s crown and dearest companion.

Respecting Sons

Recently, I have been making a greater effort to communicate effectively with my sons, especially as it pertains to the building up of their masculinity.

Instead of, “Please be gentle!” I change my wording to say, “I love that you are a strong and masculine boy, but with Mommy and other girls (and pets and babies!), you need to be very gentle.”

The need for respectful communication is absolutely critical. Dr. Eggerichs’ book, Mother And Son: The Respect Effect, does a wonderful job of elaborating upon this oft neglected concept.

We know from the Bible that God commands women to respect their husbands. This is because for a man, respect is absolutely essential. If a woman is not careful, she can cause great damage to the masculine spirit by her failure to grasp this truth.

Inevitably, our sons will do things we disapprove of. They will disobey. They may even rebel. As a mother, it is normal to experience anger and frustration during these moments. Nevertheless, with the Lord’s help, we can choose to communicate wisely and calmly.

Respectful dialogue between a mother and her son can look something like this:

“I am very upset with you right now, but I do not want you to feel dishonored or disrespected...”

“I believe in you, son.”

“You are an honorable man, despite what you have done.”

It is true - my boys are still very young, but they are growing and I want to be prepared for the coming years ahead. It helps to remind myself that although they are little, my sons are men. Their nature is not like mine, therefore, I must tailor my approach to fit their needs.

Ultimately, my greatest desire as a mother is to be someone my sons can come to without ever feeling the need to protect themselves 💙

Attacking Masculinity is Attacking God

Why is there such a tremendous attack on masculinity today?

In order to answer this question, we must go to the Word of God - the source of all Truth.

According to Gen. 1:27 and 1 Cor. 11:7, man was created in the image and glory of God. Woman, on the other hand, was created for the glory of man.⠀

In the creation design, man represents God, while woman represents mankind. Our two genders are symbolic of the relationship between God and His people. Yahweh and Israel. Christ and the Church. One dominates, the other submits. One leads, the other follows. God is a patriarchal God.

But what we’re seeing today is a complete perversion of the Lord’s design. Women are elevated above men. They are the queens, the “boss babes,” the slayers. “I don’t need a man! I can do it all!” is their collective cry.

Masculinity now comes with a warning. “Toxic” is what they call it. Men are shamed, made to feel like perverse monsters because of the testosterone flowing through them. Their authority has been wrestled away.

Symbolically speaking, we have denigrated God (man), while elevating mankind (woman). It’s the Tower of Babel all over again.

When you get right down to it, this diabolical attack on the masculine nature is nothing other than humanity shaking their fist up at Heaven and screaming, “We don’t need You, God!”

Is it any wonder then, why masculinity is so despised?

Courtship vs. Dating

I have never dated.

“But,” you say, “how can that be when you’ve been married before?!”

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Ah! But I was courted, and that, dear friends, is a big difference. Allow me to explain...

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A courtship is entered into with the goal of marriage in mind. It has a purpose. It is intentional. There is no such thing as courting for fun. Entering into a courtship is a serious matter. Thus, it is imperative that both parties be ready for the commitment of lifelong, holy matrimony prior to taking such a step.

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In a traditional courtship, the man approaches the woman’s father or other male guardian asking for his permission to court her. If the father finds this arrangement agreeable, he sends the man forth with his blessing. The relationship can then proceed under the guidance and counsel of both sets of parents.

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Although there are no uniform guidelines or rules, many couples decide to refrain from physical touch, in an effort to maintain purity and protect the heart.

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Courtship is ultimately a time to get to know one another while in the context of everyday life. Normally, a courting couple will never be alone. For the purpose of accountability and protection, they will always have a chaperone close by. Getting to know one another’s family is also very important during this time.

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In short, a traditional courtship seeks to honor God by upholding the standards of purity, honor and respect He calls His children to 🌹

Be His Peace

I love the following proverb, because it expresses a very simple, yet beautiful truth for every woman seeking to have a heavenly marriage:

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“Be a man's peace and he will run to you.

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Be his war and he will run from you.”

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The Bible echos this very sentiment in Proverbs 21:9 where it states, “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

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And in 1 Peter 3:4, women are exhorted to adorn themselves with a quiet and gentle spirit, which pleases our Lord very much 🕊

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The Amplified version of the Bible puts it this way: “but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.”

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Dear sisters, as our men go out into an increasingly hostile world, let us be their havens of peace - women with ready smiles, kind hearts, and welcoming arms ♥️

Like Mary

 

As women, we are strong and beautiful when we serve and obey our husbands. We are graceful and lovely when we nurture and train our children. We are obedient and faithful when we choose with all of our hearts to submit our entire lives to the Word of God. 

Like Mary, the mother of our Lord, may we live in quiet surrender, choosing to magnify the One who made us.

Deference to Your Man

 "Deference to your man is the height of true femininity. It makes a woman beautiful, gracious, and lovely to all, but most especially to her husband.”

-Debi Pearl 

To show deference towards one’s husband is to act with humble submission and respect. It means to revere him, as Sarah revered Abraham in the Scriptures, calling him lord.  

Only a heart overflowing with thankfulness is capable of expressing such an immense level of honor.

A wise woman knows that for a man to choose her - for him to love her - pledging every part of himself to her and her alone, is a gift whose value surpasses all earthly treasures.

Her response to this truth should always be one of extreme appreciation and delight. How fortunate and blessed is she!

In her mind, this husband of hers is the greatest in all the world. She never desires to change him, for she understands that this is not her job. Instead, he receives only her total acceptance and admiration. How easy it is, then, for his heart to safely trust in her! How easy for him to cherish her!

The book of Sirach states, “Fortunate is the husband of a good wife, because he will live twice as long.”

So you see, the power of a woman’s deference towards her man is such that she need not even be beautiful, thin, or an excellent homemaker in order to be the recipient of his love and adoration. 

Wise women take note 📝 

A heavenly marriage is entirely within your reach! The Scriptures bear testimony to these truths.

Let us humble ourselves to hear and obey.

Dear Sisters

Dear sisters,

Be soft

Be feminine

Be modest

Be meek

Be pure

Be kind

Be gentle

Be virtuous

Get married

Have babies

Guard your home

Teach your children

Serve your husband

Read the Word

Love the Lord

“...that the Word of God may not be blasphemed.”

-Titus 2:5

Cooking as a Feminine Art

Essential to the feminine arts is the ability to prepare both nourishing and delicious meals. A home cooked meal, prepared with love and patience, feeds the body and gladdens the heart. How strange and disconcerting it is, then, to hear modern women bragging about their lack of culinary skills!

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Eating is something that must be done each and every day. As homemakers, being in the kitchen is part of the biblical Titus 2 directive to be “busy at home.” It matters not whether we view cooking as a burden or a joy. But it would certainly behoove us to cultivate a cheerful attitude towards this most basic of womanly tasks.

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I have been in the kitchen since I was 14 years old. It is so satisfying to serve my family and friends through the culinary arts! But even if you don’t enjoy preparing meals, love for your family, and concern for their health and well-being should be all the motivation you need ❤️

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Dear sisters, let us rise above the mediocrity perpetuated by our increasingly godless culture and seek to be women of excellence!

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“...it is a woman’s role to nurture her family! Women in the West must reclaim their power to look after the health of their families through food. Women who have done that are truly happy and fulfilled.”

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-Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride

Why Skirts & Dresses Only?

 

Why do Some Christian Women Wear Only Skirts & Dresses?

1. FOR MODESTY

A loose, flowing garment conceals rather than reveals. Pants, no matter how baggy they may be, outline the feminine form in a way a modest skirt or dress simply cannot. Skin tight pants are the worst offenders, as they leave nothing to the imagination, thus exposing the shape of a woman's legs and her most sensual areas. That which is sacred should always be protected and shrouded in holy mystery.

2. FOR FEMININITY

Unlike the masculine form, with its sharper features, the feminine form expresses itself in rounder, softer angles. This difference is also seen in the way we move. A woman's movements (particularly if she is very feminine), flow gracefully, whereas a man's are more jagged. Skirts and dresses, being soft, round, and flowing, thus accord with the feminine nature. Pants, being straight and narrow, are better suited to the masculine form.

3. FOR MATTERS OF PRINCIPLE

In 1851, Amelia Bloomer, an early feminist and staunch supporter of reformer Susan B. Anthony, was one of the first women to appear in public wearing trousers. Her desire to wear what has historically been the male garment, sparked a rebellion against traditional gender roles that has continued to this day. Pants on women quickly became a symbol of resistance, challenging the biblical order of the family, with the man as head.

4. FOR BEAUTY

The most beautiful paintings of women always feature them in lovely, flowing garments. This is because clothing is supposed to reflect the traits of its wearer. Feminine clothing differs vastly from its masculine counterpart. Truth and beauty please the eye and draw the soul. Artists know this. On the other hand, androgyny, with its relentless push for equality, is ugly and boring.

5. FOR COMFORT

Those of us who wore pants for many years before coming to our conviction, eventually begin to realize the superior comfort skirts and dresses offer. Whereas pants - and jeans in particular - are designed to cling to the body, skirts and dresses hang gracefully, allowing air to flow through. In colder weather, long skirts can trap heat and conceal extra layers underneath for added warmth.

CONCLUSION

So you see, my dear readers, there are many good reasons why a Christian woman may choose to wear only those garments which have traditionally been associated with femininity.

It is not a matter of wanting to appear better or more holy than one's Christian sisters. Instead, our choice to contradict the culture by our dress is how we personally honor God.

"It is quite certain that the skirt means female dignity."

-G.K. Chesterton