Recently, I have been making a greater effort to communicate effectively with my sons, especially as it pertains to the building up of their masculinity.
Instead of, “Please be gentle!” I change my wording to say, “I love that you are a strong and masculine boy, but with Mommy and other girls (and pets and babies!), you need to be very gentle.”
The need for respectful communication is absolutely critical. Dr. Eggerichs’ book, Mother And Son: The Respect Effect, does a wonderful job of elaborating upon this oft neglected concept.
We know from the Bible that God commands women to respect their husbands. This is because for a man, respect is absolutely essential. If a woman is not careful, she can cause great damage to the masculine spirit by her failure to grasp this truth.
Inevitably, our sons will do things we disapprove of. They will disobey. They may even rebel. As a mother, it is normal to experience anger and frustration during these moments. Nevertheless, with the Lord’s help, we can choose to communicate wisely and calmly.
Respectful dialogue between a mother and her son can look something like this:
“I am very upset with you right now, but I do not want you to feel dishonored or disrespected...”
“I believe in you, son.”
“You are an honorable man, despite what you have done.”
It is true - my boys are still very young, but they are growing and I want to be prepared for the coming years ahead. It helps to remind myself that although they are little, my sons are men. Their nature is not like mine, therefore, I must tailor my approach to fit their needs.
Ultimately, my greatest desire as a mother is to be someone my sons can come to without ever feeling the need to protect themselves 💙
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